MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR COLUMN

Still Fuming Over the Election

Wednesday, 13 Nov, 2024
(Photo from Wikipedia. (Photo provided by Melvin Durai)

Meena took a sip of her tea and stated the obvious to her two friends: “We’re going to have major PTSD again.” 

Mary and Yetunde nodded. They knew what it was like to suffer through President Trump Stress Disorder. They had done it from 2016 to 2020, and now they were going to have to endure it again. 

“I really thought America was ready for its first female president,” Meena said. 

Mary shook her head. “No, America is ready for its first felon president.” 

The three friends were enjoying tea and samosas on the deck of Meena’s home in Hills and Dales, a quiet neighborhood in West Lafayette, Indiana. It was a warm Friday evening, just three days after the presidential election.  

“You all let us black women down,” Yetunde said. 

“What do you mean ‘you all’?” Mary said. “Meena and I voted for Kamala.” 

“I know you did. But most white women voted for Trump. And about 40 percent of Asians voted for him too. After all he has said and done, you all voted for him.” 

“Stop saying ‘you all,’” Meena said. “We didn’t vote for him!” 

“Your people voted for him!” 

“They’re not our people. Anyone who voted for Trump is not our people. Right, Mary?” 

Mary gulped. “Well …” 

She was a Republican who had voted for Trump in 2016, despite having more reservations than The Ritz-Carlton. She considered it the second-worst mistake of her life, but only because her marriage to her first husband, Roger, lasted longer than a single presidential term. 

She helped herself to another potato-filled samosa and drizzled some tamarind sauce on it. “These are delicious. Did you make them yourself?” 

Meena smiled. “Changing the topic, are we?” 

“You’ll never let me forget.” 

“Sorry, Mary. We love you anyway. The samosas are from Dakshin. Great little place on River Road.” 

“At least I came to my senses. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” 

“I can’t believe people got fooled even once,” Yetunde said. “Black women are too smart for that. More than 90 percent of us voted for Hillary and more than 90 percent voted for Kamala.” 

Mary sighed. “What do you want me to do? Take out a full-page ad in the newspaper that says, ‘I’m sorry I ever voted for Trump. I messed up. Please forgive me.’”  

“I’m not picking on you, Mary. I’m just fuming over the election. I really thought Kamala would win.”  

“It’s the economy,” Mary said. “People just don’t like the prices at the grocery store.” 

“You think black women don’t eat? We’re affected by things too. Many black women are struggling to put food on the table. But we also know when we’re being fed baloney. We also know racism and sexism when we see it. We’ve experienced it all our lives. That’s why we don’t vote for people like Donald Trump. Nope, you can’t pull the wool over our eyes.” 

Mary bit her upper lip. She picked at her samosa with a fork. “I need to go to Dakshin and buy some of these. Are they baked or fried?” 

“Fried,” Meena said. “Just like half the voters in America.”