MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR COLUMN

Kamala Harris Takes Centerstage, Battles Two Evils 

Thursday, 01 Aug, 2024
Photo by Gage Skidmore (Provided by Melvin Durai)

Democrats are bursting with joy as they embrace a new candidate who has injected excitement into the presidential race. While endorsing Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi and other Democratic leaders have expressed their deep gratitude to Joe Biden for stepping aside, sending him touching messages such as, “Thank you so much, Joe. Let us help you with the door.”

Harris is seeking to make history as America’s first female president, first Indian-American president, and first African-American president with a Jewish husband.

Those are just a few of the firsts she would achieve. Her father is from Jamaica, so she would become the first Jamaican-American president. Her late mother was Tamil (from Chennai), so she would become the first president who knows the proper way to eat a dosa. (No, not with a fork and knife.)

Many Tamil Brahmins, remembering that her mother was a Tamil Brahmin, would consider Harris the first TamBram president, though her Caribbean connection would make her the first TamBramJam president.

To win the White House, Harris will need to overcome a pair of evils — and I don’t mean Donald Trump and J.D. Vance. I’m talking about racism and sexism.

Is there enough racism in America to keep her out of the White House? I don’t think so. I believe that the majority of Americans do not really care what race a political candidate is, as long as the candidate is not trying to marry their daughter. 

Yes, one of the true tests of whether you are prejudiced or not is how willing you are to accept a son-in-law of a different race, especially if he isn’t a doctor. Unfortunately most people around the world would fail this test. 

Race is an important factor in marriage for the vast majority of people, and doubly so for some. Just ask Olympic athlete Crystal Emmanuel of Canada. She didn’t just marry a fellow athlete of the same race, she married an athlete of the same two races: 100 meters and 200 meters. She competed against her now-wife, Michelle-Lee Ahye of Trinidad and Tobago, at the last two Olympics. I wouldn’t accuse them of racism, of course, unless they look down on the marathoners.

Thankfully for Harris, Barack Obama paved the way. America’s first black president is considered one of its greatest presidents by historians. He is arguably the most popular living ex-president and the second-most popular Obama in America, trailing only Michelle.
With his prodigious charm and charisma, Obama coasted to the White House in 2008, even turning a red state like Indiana blue. He undoubtedly got millions of votes from people who would otherwise be prejudiced.

Middle-aged dad: “No, you can’t date Jordan. Find yourself a white boyfriend.”

Teenage daughter: “But Dad, you voted for Obama.”

Dad: “Yes, but I heard his great speeches. He filled me with hope.”

Daughter: “Okay, Dad, I’m going to drop Jordan and date Robert instead.”

Dad: “Is Robert white?” 

Daughter: “No, but he gives great speeches. He’s in the debate club.”

Racism isn’t as big a hurdle for Harris to surmount as sexism. The United States is almost 250 years old and has had 45 presidents. Not a single one of them has worn a dress — at least not in public.

Meanwhile, about 60 countries around the world have had female leaders. Fourteen of them have had multiple female leaders, and four — Finland, Moldova, New Zealand, and the UK — have had three female leaders.

It’s worth remembering that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, and it was only the outdated Electoral College that kept her from becoming America’s first female president. Now it’s Harris’ opportunity, and American voters need to realize that this is the 21st century, and it’s time to catch up with the rest of the world.

Reporter: “Do you plan to vote for Harris or Trump?”

Random man on the street: “Harris, of course. I’m not voting for Trump.”

Reporter: “So you don’t mind a woman president?”

Random man: “Harris is a woman?”

Reporter: “Yes, don’t you follow the news? Kamala Harris is the Democratic Party’s nominee. Will you vote for her?”

Random man: “Kamala Harris? I’ll have to think about it. But I’m ready to vote for Harris Kamala. Is he running?”