MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR COLUMN

An Olympic medal may bring you unexpected rewards

Wednesday, 07 Aug, 2024
Photo by Erik van Leeuwen (source: Wikipedia)

Winning an Olympic medal can transform an athlete’s life, especially if the athlete comes from a country that does not win many medals. Just ask Carlos Yulo, who won two gold medals in gymnastics at the Paris Olympics, becoming the first male Olympic gold medalist in the history of the Philippines, and the country’s second Olympic champion ever.

The Philippine government and various businesses immediately showered him with gifts, including loads of cash, a house, and free ramen for life.

Yes, he’ll be able to eat ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner! And that’s not all the free food he’s getting. Restaurants have offered him free macaroni and cheese for life, free grilled chicken for life, and free food at various buffets, ensuring that Carlos Yulo will never win another medal. 

Well, hopefully he’ll continue to be disciplined with his diet. He’s only 24 after all, and has a few more years of serious gymnastics left before he can dedicate himself to some serious eating.

His cash awards, from government entities as well as private companies, exceed 32 million Philippine pesos (about $550,000). 

In addition to the house that he’s receiving from the government, Yulo is getting a fully furnished three-bedroom condo from the real-estate corporation Megaworld. It comes with high-end appliances, two balconies and a separate maid room. If he doesn’t have a maid, he can easily convert this into a display room, so he has a place to display all his ramen. And perhaps a few medals.

Among his many rewards from Filipino businesses, Yulo will be getting something he probably never expected: free colonoscopies for life. The free colonoscopies begin only at age 45, so he still has 21 more years of colonoscopy-free life. 

As you can imagine, Yulo is now the most eligible bachelor in the Philippines. He doesn’t need to say much about himself on dating apps — he just needs to say, “Free ramen for life!”

Yulo is as much a hero in the Philippines as Neeraj Chopra is in India. Chopra won a gold medal in javelin at the Tokyo Olympics, becoming the first athlete from India to win Olympic gold in a track and field event. He received cash awards of more than ₹13 crore ($1.5M), a Mahindra XUV700, and unlimited free travel on the airline IndiGo for a year. But Chopra, surprisingly, did not get free biryani for life. 

However, a restaurant in New Delhi called Sita Ram Diwan Chand did offer free chole bhature to anyone named Neeraj. But that was only for a single day, not long enough for me to officially change my name.

The rewards that athletes receive vary considerably from one country to another.

In South Korea, a male athlete who wins a medal gets an exemption from the usual requirement of military service for 18 months by age 28.

In Hong Kong, a gold medalist gets free lifetime rides on public transit, but also enough money to buy a Ferrari.

Indonesia’s Apriyani Rahayu won a gold medal in Tokyo for badminton (women’s doubles) and received five cows, as well as a house and plot of land. It may not be as appealing as “free ramen for life,” but I would never complain about “free milk for life.”