Melvin Durai's Humor Column

Tired of all the polarization

Wednesday, 22 May, 2024
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"I just can't take it anymore, Mindy. This relationship is a lost cause."

Mindy had never seen her friend look so upset. She immediately put her arm around Suparna. The college buddies were having drinks at Foley’s, a bar in Boston.

"What's wrong now?"

"We are polar opposites, Robert and me. I don't know how I can have a long-term relationship with someone who is so different from me."

"But you’ve known this, haven’t you? You've been dating for six months."

“That’s true, but it just hit me really hard today.”

“Is it the religious differences?”

“No, it's not that. I can handle that.”

“Is it the fact that Robert is non-vegetarian?”

“No, it’s not that. Two of my siblings eat meat too. It’s not a problem.”

“Then what is it?”

"Well, I thought I could get over it, but today, when he shared a link to a Fox News article, it really hit me. I saw his green text bubble on my iPhone and I thought, oh no, how can I keep dating a man who has an Android?"

Mindy gasped. "An Android? You never told me that?"

"I should have told you. I was a little embarrassed."

"Is he willing to convert?"

"Not at all. He believes that Apple is evil. He calls them the evil empire that's trying to take over the world."

Mindy shook her head. "It's Google that's trying to take over the world."

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