If you need treatment for an injury or illness but have no health insurance, you might want to consider medical tourism. Medical tourism is a way to get affordable treatment in another country while enjoying all the attractions in that country. Perhaps the most efficient medical tourism is the type you can get in Sumatra, an island in western Indonesia. You can visit the rainforest on the island, get a close-up view of the Sumatran orangutans, and while you are there, receive medical treatment from one of them.
No need to book an appointment with a human doctor. They’re too expensive. Orangutans accept payment in fruits. Any fruit will do, though jackfruit is the highest fructocurrency.
If you’re unsure which orangutan to see, I have a recommendation: Dr. Rakus, who is currently the world’s most renowned medical practitioner of orangutan origin.
You may have already heard of Rakus. He recently appeared in a scientific study published in the journal Scientific Reports. Rakus was featured for something he did in 2022 that scientists found remarkable. After sustaining a wound to his face, perhaps while fighting other male orangutans, Rakus treated the wound himself and — here’s the truly amazing part — he did it without conducting a single Google search. (Yes, he relied completely on Yahoo.)
Three days after his injury, Rakus took the leaves of a liana vine, which are used in traditional medicine in Southeast Asia, “chewed on them, and then repeatedly applied the resulting juice onto the facial wound,” the scientists reported. And if that isn’t impressive enough, he completed this self-treatment by applying an orange-toned Band-Aid to the wound.
No, not an actual Band-Aid, but close enough. According to the scientists, Rakus “fully covered the wound with the chewed leaves.” And after a month or so, his facial wound had fully healed, and he was strutting around with medical credentials that made him the world’s most eligible orangutan bachelor.
“This is the first time that we have observed a wild animal applying a quite potent medicinal plant directly to a wound,” Isabelle Laumer, a co-author and biologist at the Max Planck Institute of Animal Behavior in Konstanz, Germany, told the Associated Press.
While this is the first observed case of a wild animal’s wound treatment with a medicinal plant, scientists have observed self-treatment among apes and other animals many times before. Chimpanzees have been seen chewing the bitter piths of a medicinal shrub to treat worm infections. Orangutans have been seen taking leaves from a plant with anti-inflammatory properties, mixing them with saliva and rubbing the mixture onto their bodies. Males of another Great Apes species have been seen swallowing blue pills to keep themselves from drooping.
Yes, humans are part of the sub-group of primates known as Great Apes, along with orangutans, gorillas and chimpanzees. One of the distinguishing features of Great Apes is a larger, more complex brain. This means, of course, that you shouldn’t underestimate the intelligence of Dr. Rakus.
Here are just a few of the benefits of visiting him for treatment:
1. No waiting room, no appointment. Just show up for your treatment and Dr. Rakus will swing by.
2. No forms to fill out. Dr. Rakus does not care about your medical history or your allergies, as long as you aren’t allergic to hairy apes.
3. Always open. Dr. Rakus does not take weekends off, nor does he take time off for Christmas, Diwali, Yom Kippur or Eid. He does take July 4 off, not to celebrate America’s independence, but to observe World Jackfruit Day.
4. Flexible payment. Dr. Rakus accepts a variety of fruits, including durians, lychees and figs. He does not accept Mastercard, but he does accept VISA (various insects, scrumptious ants).
5. Unconventional treatments. Many doctors will not take chances with experimental treatments, but Dr. Rakus is always willing to go out on a limb.
