Encouraging intergenerational living and fostering closer relationships between seniors and younger generations can create a more supportive, compassionate society.
By Himanshu Rath
As the global population ages, the dynamics of family structures are evolving, with profound implications for seniors. For many seniors, maintaining a close relationship with their children and grandchildren becomes a key source of joy, fulfillment, and emotional well-being in later years. However, with increasing numbers of elderly people living alone, the traditional family-based support system for seniors is being challenged.
In South Asian countries, including India, the situation is somewhat different. Traditionally, multi-generational households have been the norm, and elders have generally lived with their children. However, rapid urbanization, increasing educational and employment opportunities and the rising cost of living are gradually changing this pattern. According to a study by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) in 2020, approximately 23% of elderly Indians live alone, and this trend is expected to rise with increasing urban migration. This shift reflects changing societal norms that prioritize individual independence over traditional family structures.
Traditional family support is important
Traditional family support is vital for elderly people for various reasons. First, the emotional and psychological support offered by family members plays a significant role in preventing loneliness and depression. Studies show that older persons who live with or near their children are less likely to experience feelings of isolation. Having a close-knit family also ensures that seniors have a built-in social network, which contributes to a sense of purpose and security.
Secondly, family support is crucial for the physical well-being of older persons. Children and grandchildren can provide essential assistance with daily tasks like grocery shopping, meal preparation, managing healthcare, and even mobility. In countries with limited access to healthcare services, such as India, this form of family caregiving becomes indispensable.
Life without family support in old age
While some older persons may choose to live independently, many face challenges when they live without children/grandchildren. The absence of a close family network can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and neglect. Seniors without children or living far from their families may struggle to access emotional support, and this can lead to increased mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety.
Living without children in old age can also create practical difficulties. Older persons who live alone may experience difficulties managing household chores, maintaining their homes, or navigating healthcare systems. They may find it harder to maintain a quality of life. In such situations, external support services like nursing homes or home care agencies become necessary, but they often lack the warmth and personal connection that family provides.
Elderly women suffer more
When it comes to living alone, elderly women tend to suffer more than men. Statistically, women have longer life expectancies than men, which means they are more likely to outlive their spouses and live alone in their later years. According to the National Institute on Aging, nearly 70% of seniors aged 75 and older are women. The challenges women face are compounded by the fact that they often experience lower lifetime earnings, which can affect their ability to maintain financial independence in old age.
Furthermore, older women are more likely to have caregiving roles for other family members, especially spouses, which may leave them more physically and emotionally exhausted in their later years. In contrast, elderly men are less likely to take on caregiving roles and are generally more likely to receive care from their spouses, if available.
Circumstances accountable for seniors and their children living apart
There are several reasons why seniors and their children may live apart, even in cultures where multigenerational living has traditionally been the norm. Economic factors are a significant consideration. Many young people migrate to bigger cities or abroad in search of better education and employment opportunities. As they establish their own families and careers, they may not have the time or resources to care for aging parents.
Social factors also contribute to this separation. The rise of nuclear family structures, where parents and children live separately, is a key trend, particularly in urban settings. Additionally, changing societal norms regarding independence and individualism discourages younger generations from cohabiting with or providing daily care for aging parents. In some cases, seniors themselves choose to live apart from their children due to a desire for independence, or because of familial conflicts or differing lifestyles.
How to develop a family bond for a happier, fulfilled life
To enjoy a fulfilling family life in old age, seniors must actively work to develop strong bonds with their children and grandchildren. This process begins with effective communication and an open-minded approach to understanding the needs of younger generations.
>> Spending quality time together: Rather than focusing on the quantity of time, seniors should prioritize meaningful interactions with their children and grandchildren. Shared activities, such as storytelling, cooking, or playing games, can strengthen emotional bonds.
>> Offering wisdom and guidance: Seniors can play a vital role in the lives of their grandchildren by sharing their experiences, traditions, and values. This can instill a sense of continuity and cultural identity in younger generations, creating a legacy of wisdom and love.
>> Being adaptable: The needs and lifestyles of younger generations are different from those of older persons. By being flexible and willing to adjust, seniors can bridge the generation gap. This might include learning new technologies to stay connected with grandchildren or understanding the pressures faced by adult children.
>> Creating shared memories: Creating special traditions, like annual family vacations, holiday celebrations, or simple weekly gatherings help to build lasting memories that strengthen familial bonds.
Living with children: Bridging the gap between generations
Living with children can be a way for seniors to stay closely connected to younger generations and maintain a sense of purpose. It offers practical benefits, such as shared financial resources, caregiving support, and companionship. More importantly, it facilitates the exchange of knowledge and values across generations. Seniors can pass on family stories, cultural traditions, and moral guidance, while younger generations can help elders stay engaged with modern society.
This living arrangement allows seniors to continue playing an active role in their families' lives, fostering a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other's unique perspectives. By teaching the importance of respect, kindness, and community, seniors can help ensure that their grandchildren grow up with a strong foundation of empathy and responsibility.
For many older persons, the sense of companionship, emotional support, and security provided by family members is far more important than maintaining full independence. The trade-off allows for a greater sense of belonging, purpose, and joy in old age.
Defying the nuclear family system: A better future for all
While the nuclear family system is unlikely to disappear, it is possible to reshape societal attitudes toward aging and family life. Encouraging intergenerational living and fostering closer relationships between seniors and younger generations can create a more supportive, compassionate society. By nurturing these bonds, both seniors and future generations can lead happier, more fulfilling lives. The evolving nature of family dynamics calls for new solutions to ensure that the elderly are not left behind. By strengthening family connections and reshaping perceptions of old age, we can ensure a better tomorrow for all.
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(The writer is the founder of Agewell Foundation, a not‐for‐profit organization working for the welfare and empowerment of the elderly in India)