It has come to my attention, once again, that we humans are not conscious enough about the smells we create. I was reminded of this recently when I picked up one of my kids from college. My son was coming home for the weekend and, I am happy to say, smelled just fine. But I wanted to jump out of my car screaming when he put something in the back seat: a laundry basket full of dirty clothes.
How bad did they smell? They smelled so bad that my first question to my son was this: “Is your roommate still alive?”
Well, I am happy to report that his roommate is fully conscious. No smelling salts were needed to revive him. And perhaps most surprising of all, he has not applied for a room transfer.
The problem was that the dirty clothes, including sweat-laden athletic gear, had been kept in a closet, where they didn’t get much air. The clothes couldn’t breathe. Once they were in my car and got some air flowing through them, it was me who couldn’t breathe.
How did I survive the drive home? By tossing the clothes into the trunk of the car, and apologizing profusely to the lug wrench and spare wheel.
I don’t blame my son for this. As a teenager living away from home for the first time, he is still learning about life, especially college life, which is introducing him to a variety of people, an array of experiences and all manner of smells. Many of these smells are pleasant, of course, but some are not. Here are just a few of the smells that a typical college student will encounter:
1. Body odor (BO). Why is this a big problem? Well, not everybody who attends college is accustomed to daily showers or baths. Some grew up in places where daily showers only happen during the rainy season — and you watch them through a window. Some were raised by parents who, like the meteorologist, called for “intermittent showers.” If you wanted to take a shower but the bathroom was occupied by another family member, you might say to yourself, “Oh well, I’ll just take one next month.”
Whatever hygiene habits a teenager grows up with, these are often cast aside once college begins. There’s just no time for them.
“Come on, Raj, we’re late for the party.”
“Okay, Ryan, I just need to take a quick shower.”
“No time for that. Let’s go! The Uber is waiting.”
“But I haven’t showered in an eternity.”
“Who cares? Just spray some Eternity in your armpits. The girls will go crazy.”
2. Smelly feet. This often accompanies BO, but like a presidential running mate, is quite capable of making a statement of its own. Foot odor is typically produced when a pair of socks has been worn for a long period, such as from 8 a.m. on Monday to 8 p.m. on Friday. Few college students would wear socks for that long, but a good many would wear socks for longer than a day.
“Okay, Ryan, I’m done spraying. I just need to go through my dirty laundry.”
“What do you mean — go through it?”
“I’m out of clean socks. Just need to find a pair that passes the smell test.”
“Forget the smell test! Just spray some Eternity on them.”
3. Stinky clothes. A few years ago, I met a college student who seemed to have BO, but I soon realized that he didn’t actually have BO — he had JO (jeans odor). He had not washed his jeans in weeks, perhaps months. This is a common problem, partly because even denim experts say it’s okay to wash jeans after 10 wears. In fact, a University of Alberta student once wore the same pair of jeans for 15 months and found that they contained the same level of bacteria as jeans worn for just two weeks.
“It’s a new semester, Ryan. You know what that means?”
“New classes? New professors?”
“No, it’s time to wash my jeans!”
“Wash them? Are you crazy? Just spray some Eternity on them.”
