By Sumair Singh
In life, there are experiences we all share and talk about, like going to Disney and falling from the Tower of Terror. But there are private, even more terrifying, invisible experiences called mental health crises that we don't talk about. Coming from a Southeast Asian family, we operate as a loving, compassionate, multigenerational problem-solving team with many eyes on the prize. There is an implicit assumption that “we got this”, whatever the problem going on in the world outside might be. But one area we require improvement in is awareness of understanding and prevention, and treatment of mental health concerns.
We are living through a loneliness epidemic for those between the ages of 15-34. A CDC study of 20,000 high school students found that 39.7% expressed persistent feelings of sadness, 24.4% had considered suicide, and 9.5% had attempted. According to the 2023 national survey on drug use and health, 18.1% of our youth had experienced a major depressive episode in the last year. A lot is going on in the world around us and there is a lot going on inside the hearts and minds of our adolescent youth. This is not something to hide away and view as a stigma, but rather, we must learn to have uncomfortable conversations to improve and save lives.
Living immersed within the loving arms of a large sikh family, I understand firsthand how culture works. What one says out loud and what one thinks are very different realities. I want you to imagine learning to create a time each day where we practice discussing our feelings, our dreams, our hopes, and our goals. These things are different from our responsibilities. I almost view the mental health concerns as the low-lying fruit on a tree everyone can reach, but we all struggle to value and validate.
I have found it helpful to stop, breathe, and listen to what my body and spirit are telling me. Anxiety is like a series of thoughts that begin to pick up speed with fear, like a train going downhill. We need to practice slowing the train by breathing deeply, thinking rationally to reduce the fear, and seeing clearly the issues like the conductor of our own train. Sadness is not having what to look forward to. By simply planning out moments of guaranteed joy and pleasure taken through experience, we can sequence out meaning-making, our joys through chosen, preplanned activities.
I have created a list of simple questions and helpful responses that families can use to identify the ripeness or rotteness of life's low-lying fruits, our feelings and thinking processes about the day we are having.
1. When asking how your day was, look for signs of wellness and joy in facial features and voice intonation.
2. Make a point of asking open-ended, feeling-oriented questions.
3. Practice valuing and validating these experiences.
A healthy mind often accompanies the health of one's body. Regular physical exercise, sleeping well, contact and time spent with friends, and eating right all contribute to how it is we feel.
My advocacy journey to help give voice to the voiceless led me to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. NAMI offers family classes to educate and support mental health concerns through a free psychoeducational format.
The takeaway message I would hope you might take away in your back pocket is to remember that today's thoughts and feelings shape tomorrow's behaviour.
(Sumair Singh is a senior in high school, applying to colleges)
