I’ve always thought of squirrels as cute, harmless creatures, but I’m beginning to wonder if they just have a very good Director of Public Relations. The director ensures that any negative stories about squirrels are drowned out by positive stories, some of them in children’s books with titles such as “The Busy Little Squirrel,” “The Kind, Generous Squirrel,” and “A Squirrel’s Life: Chasing Nuts, Berries and Sainthood.”
I had such a positive impression about squirrels that I found it preposterous that one member of my family — let’s use the name ‘A’ — is deathly afraid of squirrels. Unfortunately for A, squirrels are so common in our neighborhood that A has to often run down our driveway at breakneck speed to avoid being attacked by them. If A ever becomes a filmmaker and creates a horror movie, it would be called “Revenge of the Repulsive Rodents.”
I found A’s fear of squirrels quite ludicrous, but that was before I read an article about the Raging Rodent of Rajasthan. According to news reports, a squirrel has bitten more than 18 people on a college campus in the northwestern Indian state over the last month or so. The squirrel has even bitten the dean at the University College of Arts at Mohanlal Sukhadia University, Udaipur, raising suspicion that the squirrel is extremely unhappy about its grades.
College staff member Dinesh Chandra Gurjar told Bhaskar English that the squirrel bit two scholars from his department on April 22. “The next morning, when I came to the office, the squirrel was hiding behind the curtains and suddenly jumped at me, but I managed to run away without being bitten,” he said.
Hiding behind the curtains? The squirrel may not be a student at the college, but it has somehow found a way to gain admission. Sources tell me that the college is seriously considering erecting a large “Beware of Squirrel” sign. (My sources are, of course, extremely unreliable.)
“Fear has increased so much that people are now afraid of even normal squirrels, thinking it might be the same one,” Gurjar said.
If a dog or cat starts biting people, animal control officers are usually summoned to take care of the problem. In the case of the squirrel, however, an Animal Aid rescue team has been unable to capture it, despite setting traps in multiple locations. Perhaps it’s time to call in reinforcements, such as a special tactical unit from the Indian Armed Forces. They would surround the area, fire a few warning shots in the air, and force the squirrel to come out with its tail in the air.
You may be wondering why a squirrel would attack people randomly, as it seems to be doing. One theory is that the squirrel has a nest nearby and is protecting its young from potential predators. This squirrel may be aware that humans, in many parts of the world, consider squirrel meat a delicacy of sorts. In fact, every September, in Springdale, Arkansas, hundreds of chefs gather to compete in the World Champion Squirrel Cook-Off. They create dishes such as squirrel tacos, squirrel corn dogs, and, of course, squirrel curry. The latter dish, you may not be surprised to learn, is described as having “quite the bite.”
It’s worth noting that the squirrel in Rajasthan is hardly the first squirrel to attack humans. Last September, for example, a squirrel reportedly attacked five people in Marin County, California, sending three of them to the emergency room. It’s believed that the squirrel was once fed by humans, had gotten used to it, and was now attacking other humans for not feeding it.
Squirrels are among the cutest animals in the world. But don’t be surprised if you spot me running down my driveway at breakneck speed.
