Insurance fraud is nothing new: it has existed since the days of the cavemen. That’s when a man named Bongah collected shiny stones from his fellow cavemen, convincing each of them to buy wife insurance. If someone steals your wife, he told them, you will either get her back or 50 stones. It wasn’t long before a man named Dongah faked his wife’s disappearance and ended up with both a wife and 50 stones, several of which he threw at an angry Bongah.
If you do not believe the story of Dongah and Bongah, you may be equally skeptical about a recent case of insurance fraud in California. A group of four people collected a total of $141,839 from insurance companies, claiming that a bear, in three separate incidents, had caused extensive damage to their luxury cars: a 2010 Rolls Royce Ghost, a 2015 Mercedes G63 AMG and a 2022 Mercedes E350. They even submitted video evidence of the bear attacks to the insurance companies.
One insurance company became suspicious and sent the video to the California Department of Insurance, where detectives determined that the car-attacking bear was actually a human in a bear suit. But just to be absolutely certain, the department got a second opinion — from a biologist at the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. This biologist, an expert in identifying wild animals, reviewed the video evidence and concluded that the insurance claim did not, uh, bear out.
Detectives got a warrant to search the suspects’ home and found a bear costume, along with meat-shredding kitchen implements known as “bear claws.”
Three of the defendants have pleaded “no contest” to felony insurance fraud and been sentenced to 180 days in jail (to be served through a weekend jail program) and two years of supervised probation. Two of them will each pay more than $50,000 in restitution, while restitution for the third has not been determined. A court hearing for the fourth defendant will be held in September.
You are probably saying to yourself, “Weekend jail program? If that’s all they got, maybe it’s time for me to consider insurance fraud. Then, perhaps, I won’t need to get a loan every time I fill up my car.”
Insurance fraud might be tempting, but it’s a serious crime that hurts us all. It not only results in higher premiums for everyone, it also hurts the reputation of bears. Imagine how we’d feel if a bear wore a human costume and robbed a store, running off with all its honey. Trust me, the bear would face serious consequences.
Bear’s lawyer: “Your honor, my client pleads ‘no contest’ and requests the weekend jail program.”
Judge: “Ha ha! The weekend jail program is only for humans impersonating bears. A bear impersonating a human, according to my sentencing guidelines, should spend the rest of its life behind bars. How does the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo sound?”
Lawyer: “Oh God, no!”
Judge: “Your client does not want to live in a zoo?”
Lawyer: “No, my client does not want to live in Cleveland.”
Judge: “Would your client consider it inhumane?”
Lawyer: “No, just unbearable.”
Thankfully, bears are rarely used in insurance fraud schemes. More commonly, humans stage accidents and submit fraudulent claims, not just for damage to vehicles and other physical objects but also for bodily injury.
Here’s what could happen: You are driving down the road when the driver in front of you suddenly slams his brakes, causing you to rear-end his car. It appears to be a minor accident, but there are four people inside the other car and all four claim to have “nearly died.” Two have injured their backs; a third has injured his neck; and the fourth has suffered a serious injury to his “vendus uritis” — a body part you’ve never heard of. They hire a lawyer and soon reach a lucrative settlement with your insurance company.
You feel guilty about this, but a friend tells you that it’s not your fault. Besides, insurance companies make lots of money. They can bear it.
