Imagine you are waiting at a bus stop, reading something on your phone, when a college student walks up. He’s also waiting for the bus. You look up from your phone and notice that he’s wearing a jersey that says, “Emirates. FLY BETTER.”
You’ve never flown on Emirates, so you decide to strike up a conversation.
You: “Is Emirates a good airline?”
Student: “It sucks! I flew on it once and they lost my luggage. I’m never flying Emirates again!”
You: “So why are you advertising for them?”
Student: “I’m an Arsenal fan, bruh.”
That’s when you notice the Arsenal logo near his shoulder, as well as the “Visit Rwanda” message on his sleeve. You wonder if Emirates flies to Rwanda.
You don’t follow British soccer closely, but decide to keep the conversation going by asking, “How’s Arsenal doing?”
The student spends the next 10 minutes, including an entire bus ride, telling you that Arsenal sits at the top of the Premier League, has reached the semi-finals of the UEFA Champions League, and could probably beat Tottenham blindfolded. He’s so excited to talk about his favorite team that he misses his bus stop and has to jump out the window. But he doesn’t seem to mind and gives you a fist bump just before he jumps.
You’re happy that you engaged in some “small talk” with a stranger. It has put you in such a good mood that you find yourself involved in small talk with everyone you encounter the rest of the day, even the neighbor’s dog.
You: “How’s Trump’s second term going? Rough or smooth?”
Dog: “Ruff! Ruff!”
You: “You can say that again!”
Dog: “Ruff! Ruff!”
Small talk often leads to enjoyable conversations and meaningful connections, even if the topic is considered boring, according to a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
“If people avoid talking to a co-worker at the coffee machine or a stranger at an event or a neighbor in the elevator because we assume it will be boring and unenjoyable, we may be depriving ourselves of small moments of connection that could improve our mood, our sense of belonging and decrease loneliness,” Elizabeth Trinh, lead author of the study, told NBC News.
Trinh, a doctoral student at University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, collaborated with researchers at Cornell University’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations and INSEAD, a business school in France, to conduct the study, entitled “Conversations About Boring Topics Are More Interesting Than We Think.” (Alternative title: “Talking to Real People Can Be Fun — You Should Try it Sometimes!”)
The researchers ran nine experiments in which participants were asked to engage in five-minute conversations on topics they had rated as either boring or interesting. The research found that the participants, whether talking to friends or strangers, consistently underestimated how enjoyable and interesting conversations about boring topics would be.
“Actually engaging in a conversation, being part of it, is what drives the interest and enjoyment,” Trinh said.
While boring topics may indeed lead to meaningful conversations, it helps to pick a topic that the other person can relate to. Here are just three good ways to spark a conversation:
You: “Beautiful dog!”
Stranger: “Thank you. I won the custody battle.”
You: “Congrats! Did your ex get visitation rights?”
Stranger: “Yeah, every other weekend. He also gets her for New Year’s Day, Holi and Diwali. I get her for Easter and Christmas.”
You: “Sounds like you’ve had a great interfaith divorce!”
